Incredibly short one this time round, based on the news story that North Korea has hired Chinese people to act as fans for their matches.

It’s called Fan.


They hand me a flag and a shirt and a ticket.

They tell me to cheer like mad.

But not too much.

Not enough to cause a fuss.

I tell them not to worry, I’m a professional.

I was on this soap once, I tell them, and I was pretty good.

They tell me to hold the shirt up to my chest. It’s too small.

They try and find me a larger one.

Remember, they say, you’ll be out there representing our country.

I can’t say anything negative.

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